No, drunk sperm still make babies.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
They took my balls.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
