FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize