I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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