So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
