you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
