Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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