I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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