so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
