she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
