I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
