16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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