With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
