Kiss
Puke
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Acid is not a monday night drug
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
