Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
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