Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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