Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
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