i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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