I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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