I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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