I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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