Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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