i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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