this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Can Purell be used as lube?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
