There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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