Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
