she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
