You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
