and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
