no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
