woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She's the barista slut.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
