any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Randomize
