I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize