dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm experimenting with sincerity
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
