So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Are my feet made of real feet?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
