i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
