i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize