It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
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