Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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