it wasn't lemon gatorade
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
