your room smells of hookers.
And success
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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