Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize