how can u be prego again
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
