Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I enjoy the company of your penis
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
