Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I intend to get homeless drunk
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize