I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
