Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
