All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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