hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
