i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
