Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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