She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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