i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Randomize
