i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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