Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
