i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
