i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
