The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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