I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Someone signed my nipple.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
