I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
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