sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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