Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
why does every cop we meet know your name?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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