you mean i was at the winter classic?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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