ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
